I was recently listening to the German comedian Henning Wehn and the German historian Katja Hoyer talking about British humour. Bear in mind they are both anglophiles who have chosen to live in this country and build their lives here.
They both said the one thing they find hard to understand and accept is English banter. They know that it is mostly a bit of fun and about trying to make people feel part of a group, but they still can't help feeling offended at times by what they know wasn't intended to be offensive but they just can't get their heads around that part of our culture.
They are white so obviously this doesn't get picked up as being racist in these circumstances, but it is tantamount to the same thing.
Now, I'm not denying there are some quite nasty people in our country but I think they really are a minority and when we talk about not being racists al lot of it is just trying to remember that people from different cultures and races can be genuinely offended by what wasn't meant to be offensive or racist.
Rugby, like the armed forces has a particularly strong banter culture so it takes long for cultural changes to happen, but I believe they are happening and we are going in the right direction, but the way to speed it up is to explain and not castigate, lecture or infantilise people.